LIFE- A jigsaw puzzle

Yes, it was my life a few years back.. atleast I thought so. I was happy with my friends. I always thought that my friends were my life and we all would be together forever. I enjoyed coming to school because school was my life and my friends..I loved them like hell.. All i wanted was to be with them. Have fun with them. I hated being at home. I called life at school as 'my life' as i could take my decisions myself.

But we all know things change, and I too changed. I was very studious, always surrounded with books, a dull girl..I wanted to be free.. but something from within stopped me.. I still don't know what it was..

I hesitated, kept quiet and observed others changing. Some of my 'friends' came to me just to take my notebooks home..or to cheat in those stupid classtests.I never minded that. I loved helping them and thought may be someday I need them and they'll be there for me!

While my mind was busy with all this, my heart, it was gone! I thought it to be love. (though it was not!!!) .I don't know how it happened but I had started liking someone like hell.I wanted to tell my friends about this.. but hesitated..even my best friend .She was an angel (she still is :) )...May be i was afraid of getting a scolding form her (she scolds me badly at times).. Well, I waited for an year, I wanted everything to happen on its own..Soon I was in a relationship..But it died out soon.. I wanted it to die because I had stopped laughing, I couldn't enjoy my life..Also, I had to undergo a constant fear of losing someone who was damn special to me!

I didn't knew that things were not the same what I thought them to be.His love was fake..all that he showed.. This breakup had shattered me completely.. I needed someone.. someone who could hold me back..I needed my 'friends'.. but I was alone! I even got a few taunting remarks from people who were nothing but a piece of shit..yes.. the same who asked for my notebooks..

I hated myself! Which I never did before.. They left me alone to bear all this..This broke my heart into pieces.. and I decided to take a revenge.. But soon I realised that this could never be me! My life was always being with my friends..I knew I could never do this to myself.. to spend life taking revenge and having grudges..I decided to change..There was a need because I had to show him that I was happy and strong! Hanging around with a fake smile was not me..pretending to be preoccupied with studies when everyone else enjoyed was not me..It was not me.. I lost myself!